TherapyCanWork.com

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Welcome

If you are looking at this site, it's because something's just not right, and you're hoping that talking to someone can help. You are not alone. Most of the men and women I see come in because something is not working in their lives. They are unhappy with their jobs or careers, their relationships are failing or nonexistent, or there are problems with their families. All of this can make someone feel anxious, depressed, disconnected or even hopeless. And sometimes it's not obvious why. "I have no reason to feel depressed, but I am." Maybe this is you. Or maybe there's something else going on that you'd just like to talk to someone about – someone outside your regular circle, who can give you feedback from a new and more objective perspective.

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Does Therapy Work?

It certainly can work. Whether it does or not depends on a combination of many factors. A good fit between you and your therapist is essential, as is a feeling of comfort and safety. That's where we begin, by establishing a supportive and collaborative relationship that allows us to begin the process. What happens after that depends on how ready and willing you are to do the work to make the changes in your life you say you want. There is no magic wand, and change is hard. But people who are committed to the process can usually make significant strides in reasonable periods of time, and experience relief just by being able to talk openly and feeling heard.

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How It Works

In therapy we try to understand how you came to be the person you are today, what parts of yourself you like and want to keep, what parts no longer fit your image of who you want to be, what you might like to cultivate instead, and how to get there.

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Feeling Safe

Helping you feel better and achieve what you want requires an environment where it feels safe enough to talk about what's really troubling you. It's important for the therapist to listen and understand in a non-judgmental, empathic, yet perceptive and insightful way. It's common to be stuck in patterns that no longer serve you well, and not know how to change them. It's normal to be anxious and depressed in a difficult world where the future is uncertain. It's also normal to have conflicting feelings about people, love, work, play, life.

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Flexible & Interactive Approach

My approach is flexible and interactive. I work psychodynamically, which means understanding the interaction of the conscious and unconscious mental or emotional processes that affect and influence our behavior and our choices. Sometimes we operate in ways that make us get in our own way, and we're not even aware of it. It's like those orange cones on the highway blocking a lane and slowing down traffic. We often unwittingly put obstacles in our path that prevent us from getting what we say we want. And it's frustrating. This process helps you both understand and rework those self-defeating patterns so you can feel less conflicted, make different choices, and be more content with your life.

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About Diagnosis

I generally don't like to use labels to diagnose you. It tends to be counterproductive and gets in the way of a clear and meaningful understanding of you or whatever you think I want you to be talking about. It's far more useful and effective to look at your present and past behaviors, and to explore what's going on for you emotionally in order to help you find a way to accept yourself and let go of the self-defeating patterns getting in your way, than to be concerned with finding a name for it.

However, in looking at the issues written about here, you might recognize yourself in one or more of them, and start to get an idea of the dynamics of what's distressing you, and what we would begin to talk about in therapy. This begins the process of mitigating the distress, and unraveling the conflicts that underlie the maladaptive ways of coping that you have adopted to deal with them. If there is an issue that is troubling you that is not addressed in one of these topics, check back periodically to see if it's covered in the Featured Topic, and feel free to write me with suggestions for issues not yet covered.

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